1

Frank pushed open the door of the `Iron Horse,' and mooched in. Teddy was leaning against the bar. "Hiya, Franky boy!" He caught sight of his pal's expression, "Whit's the problaimo? Ye've goat a face oan ye there like a half chewed chip."

Frank sighed, "Ach, Teddy, Ah feel like a right bucket o' shite, at the moment! Ah'm losin' ma joab an Mrs McCafferty's gee'n me a final ultimatum. Life's catchin' up."

"Well, Frank, yer' deep in the old soapy this time! We'll huv tae gie it some serious thinking. But, let's no let it interfere wae time better allocaitit tae drinking. Whit'r ye huvin'?" This was one line usually guaranteed to cheer Frank up.

"Mood ah'm in, ye'd better make it a double."

Friday night, early, was a good time to be in the 'Iron Horse.' `Hyug,' one of their friends from way back, was usually manning the pumps. So they stood at the bar, shooting the breeze and chancing it for another refill, while they waited for girls to show up.

Ted turned to Hyug,"So, Hyug, How's it goin' wae you at the moment?"

Ah cunny complain Teddy, Ah suppose. Sheila's away up tae Caithness tae hur muther's at the moment. Ah'll be huvin' tae survive oan takeaways, an' that."

"Very funny! Sheila likes me chunky oanyway."

Teddy laughed,"You'd better watch chunky dosnae turn intae lumpy. Ah, bit less oh the special fried rice wae an extra portion o' chips an' spare ribs, mibby?"

"Ho, flamin' Ho! Yew lads certainly are jokers and no mistake. By the by, Teddy, how's it goin' ower at the Trongate? Fun' oany mair prehistoric marital aids, yit?"

Teddy grimaced, "Naw! And it wiz an Romano-British, bronze, fertility offering, no a dildo." He laughed, "If you must know, a fifteen foot high length o' section nearly fell oan me the day. We jist managed to shore it up in time."